April 2009
3 posts
Stay Illogical.
So today was a rather long, and irritating day at work, but I have this thing where I am trying to stay positive, even with situations like these.
We are short staffed at work right now because Mike is on vacation, and the two other dimwits that I have to work with, are just plain stupid. “V” decided to call out because his feet hurt. Totally bullshit. Even when my foot hurt, I still...
Climbing
I’m 101% over WordPress. It doesn’t seem like I’m blogging for some reason, but more like managing content. It didn’t really work out for me, and I feel so stupid for paying 80$ for a template that I used for less than a week. Really shows how I can manage my money right?
Gia’s birthday dinner and party were this weekend, and it was really great! It was fun seeing a...
The Night Didn't End @ The HoB.
ARCHIVE POST FROM HTTP://IAMJAYBOT.NET - MY NEW DOMAIN!
I finally have the day off today, and decided I wanted to get crazy last night. I had only one goal for myself last night, and that was to get drunk and dance. Mission accomplished.
The night started with the four of us [Natasha, Chris, Kristy & myself] heading out to the House of Blues for the club going on that night, we got there,...
March 2009
15 posts
Impact.
Hearing your voice completely changed my night. It was like the first time I ever did meth, I was completely happy, and wanted more… Now with it being 20 minutes ago, i’m craving to hear it again.
Call me soon. <3
I'm really bored.
With life, my friends, and everything thats been going on lately. It’s just all the same to me. I need someone to spark some entertainment, or some new fun for me. I’m just getting so bored of it all.
Oh… Someone turned themselves in the other day about Kevin’s death. I don’t really know what happened, but I’m waiting for Jan or Rebecca to fill me in on the...
Just a recap over the last few days...
These last few days have been pretty eventful to say the least.
Sunday night I ended up hanging out with Natasha and a few of her friends. We went out to Oasis in Upland, and man that club was extremely ghetto. Not only that, but we got kicked out and we weren’t even there for an hour. I went outside to have a smoke, and I come back to find them getting kicked out. I guess because one of...
Can someone make the pain go away?
I walk around like I have a giant stick up my ass all the time, it’s kind of annoying really. My foot is pretty much really really bruised, I’ve had ice on it all day and its starting to feel a little better. I swear, if it isn’t healed by next week I’m getting my entire right leg cut off… Okay, not really, but yeah.
I went and visited Andy last night at work. Good...
Some people will never hear from me again.
I’m really good at shutting people out of my life, completely. When I’m done, you’re done. Karma is a fucking bitch, and I certainly hope you feel the pain that I have been going through this past week. YOU FUCKING DESERVE IT.
Last night was Jason, Brandon and Chloe’s combined birthday shindig at O Bar in West Hollywood, it was SO much fun! They picked the perfect place...
A second chance?
Sooooo Andy hit me up today. It was a surprise. I miss him. But I don’t want to get to attached like I did the first time, man that was horrible having to go through. I’ll take it as were friends, an simply that’s it, if something happens in the future, well we’ll see what happens. I did feel really happy though, like I did when we first started talking. I’m gunna go...
You're Not Sorry.
“All this time I was wasting hoping you would come around I’ve been giving out chances everytime and all you do is let me down”
“Looking so innocent I might believe you if I didn’t know Could’ve loved you all my life If you hadn’t left me waiting in the cold And you’ve got your share of secrets and I’m tired of being last to know And now...
Reflecting.
This past weekend, and week for the most part, I’ve been reflecting a lot about myself. I’m so keen on trying to please everyone to make them happy, or to try and fit into a group of people that care only about themselves - and I’ve been doing this for a really long time now. It’s almost sad, and pathetic on my part.
I’m 21 years old, and I shouldn’t have to...
Times of Romance
are certainly lacking for me. I will get into this later.
Last night I decided to take some time off by myself and drive out to the lookout and clear my head. In some ways it was successful, but the other part of me thinks it was also just a waste of time, and gas. Either way, I kind of enjoyed it.
I ended up staying there for a good 30 minutes or so, then Gia hit me up. I haven’t hung...
So Sleepy...
I didn’t get much sleep last night, basically about an hour or less. I just had way to much going through my mind, I couldn’t find a way to silence it all.. I’m trying hard to not fall asleep, or take a nap untill around 9 or so. I need to get my sleeping patterns corrected.
Last night was pretty, different for me. I did something that I know I should’ve done a really long...
Thank You.
Dylan for reminding me how shady and untrustworthy people can be because of their insecurities. Trash right? I mean, I just despise people that twist my words and run off to another person to telling them completely different stuff.
God, I love people. I just have the most amazing “friends” ever. I am just extremely blessed!
[/endsarcasm]
I’m really upset and just down in...
09' Resolutions
I originally posted this on my blog http://iamjaybot.net, but decided to keep this here because I am revamping it into my portfolio.
I always try to make a few goals for myself at the start of the year, resolutions as some may refer to them as. I try to keep them to a minimum of at least 4-5, anything higher I feel is asking to much from myself, and I know I don’t want to let myself down in the...
Come Today, We Understand.
I originally posted this on my blog http://iamjaybot.net, but I am revamping that into a portfolio, so I wanted to keep this here.
I think it’s very safe for me to say that this year has been a never ending roller coaster for me, and now the ride is finally coming to an end. Emotionally, mentally, and physically.
“I’ve been through a lot in the past two or three years, and there’s a lot that...
FML.
So Christian took me out to Javiers tonight for dinner. I really enjoyed myself and had a great time getting to know him. But surprise surprise I didn’t leave a really good first impression. He didn’t think I was feeling it.
I don’t understand why I always lock up or become really shy. My greatest flaw, other than overthinking everything.
Damn, I probly messed up something...
February 2009
16 posts
I'm 80% Sure...
That tomorrow is going to be a bust, and I know that I’m going to be the one down in the dumps tomorrow. I wish I had a little bit more self control with myself. I know everyone tells me differently, and to stop doubting myself, but I can’t. I just need to learn to feel comfortable with myself, instead of killing myself every single day at the gym. I know I really should stop trying to...
Recap.
I have a lot to talk about, so I’m going to try and remember everything that needs to be said.
We had our state of the company meeting today at work, it was really scary and kind of inspiring at the same time. It’s great to know that I work for a quality company that truly does have their employees best interests. Even with the horrible economy right now, we are still financially able...
“These two very different people please each other. Capricorn’s strong,...”
– “The Only Astrology Book You’ll Ever Need” - Joanna Martine Woolfolk
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1 tag
Damn A Day That I Forgot.
I had my APRs (Annual Performance Review) at work today, and it was a complete 360 from last years. I knew I’ve been doing good at work, but I didn’t think I was exceeding expectations. My manager wants me to take more leadership roles at work, and in a way this is really exciting for me. For once I can finally see myself moving up with the company. Before I even got my APRs I was...
1 tag
100%
Is how I feel right now. I did everything that I needed to do today, and more.
I feel great, and so accomplished. I didn’t even think about half assing it as well.
Oh, and I think it’s pretty awesome, and pretty weird at the same time that some of my old really good friends from high school grace a whole page in a magazine that I used to read. I was trippin out when I saw it.
...
My "Blackout" Era.
Is what I like to call the last few years of my life. Looking at old photos I can’t even tell who I was, or where I was going, and what I was thinking. I looked so hideous, and it’s so weird to know just a few years ago I looked how I did.
I look at myself, and see a completely different person. Maybe everyone goes through these changes, although I am seeing it as an upgrade.
I...
Drama.
Is something I don’t deal with, at all. It’s retarded, and a waste of time. Especially drama that I’ve already dealt with back in high school, yes high school. I’m 21, and getting mad about whomever sits in the front is really childish.
Other than that stupid bullshit from last night, I had a wonderful night at the Tin Lizzie. It’s so comforting there, and really...
I dunno.
I’m just going to see how things play out, and let nature take it’s course. I just don’t know what else to do when I get texts from you this morning saying “Good Morning Sunshine” Just when I think you’re starting to forget me, you suddenly re-appear again.
I’m going to see where it goes, while flirting with other people. I can’t sit and wait...
He's Just Not That Into You.
Ironic that this film just came out right, when it finally hit me today that Andy isn’t into me anymore. Reality check. I kind of new all along ever since him and his ex had that “conversation” last month. I’m kind of bummed, but at the same time relieved that I wont be putting anymore of my time and emotions into chasing something that is going to get me no where....
Back To The Start.
Work was ridiculously tiring today. I’m looking forward to the next few days off, I really need a break from that place.
I got my iMac back today! Instead of it costing around $1,000 to repair, it just cost me a mere $184.13 to replace the power supply. Sooo happy to have it back, I never knew how boring it would really be without a computer, it’s dreadful!
I’m pretty excited...
It's Almost Midnight.
and I can’t fall asleep because I am still wired from that stuff that I take before I go to the gym. Bleh, I’m going to be so damn tired tomorrow at work. At least I got paid today, so I’ll be able to get a Redbull tomorrow before work.
So I finished watching Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist and oh man, it was so cute! I knew I was going to like it… I love...
Back In Business.
I’ve kind of lost myself and went off track from my usual gym routine. I can say it’s maybe been more than a month since I’ve been and actually worked out.
We’ve been getting a lot of spring stuff at work today, and it hit my head that summer is just around the corner, and how I want to be so damn hot this year.
So I finally bought some N.O. Xplode and hit the gym...
Awkward.
I dunno why I think everything is awkward. I never used to think about everything like I do now. I wonder what happened to me?
I went and visited Andy with Val today. Again, I thought I was being awkward, but Val said that everything was fine. Eh, we’ll see. I’m not pressuring myself anymore to try and fight for something that I don’t even know is going to workout. So Val and I...
An Update.
I’ve been wanting to update, but as of last Thursday, I am computerles. My iMac decided to take a shit on me, and not turn back on. So in the meantime, it is in the Apple store getting repaired. I am so not looking forward to the bill on that one.
Who knew not having a computer would make life so, boring? In otherways however, I’ve found myself to be more productive.
After my last...
January 2009
12 posts
One More Time
I’m getting really tired of blogging about Andy.
It’s really sad that my life has turned into some sort of obsession over him these past couple of weeks. I don’t know what I have turned in to. I used to be so strong, and be able to take rejection, and was able to feel good and okay when I was alone.
Yet, now when I think I’m starting to like someone, that I feel...
Time To Pretend
I had a rather eventful weekend, and I’m sad that it has ended.
On Friday night I went out to the Abbey with Valerie and had such an amazing time. We started out at Fiesta, and then ended up at the Abbey. At Fiesta these two really hot guys kept staring at me, and I guess one of them even pointed at me with that “he’s attractive” gesture. I wish I had the guts to even say...
Emotions
I am filled with so many right now. Mostly the downer ones though.
I’m starting to feel really sick because I feel like Andy is starting to keep his distance. It hurts me so much because I have really opened up, and tried really hard for something this time around. I haven’t been this open to anyone in a very long time, and to feel like I’m being pushed away so quickly kills me....
Yardhouse.
I went to the Yardhouse last night after work for Rachel’s birthday. It was a lot of fun! Flynn, Michael, Matt, Shaun, John, Nic and the two cosmetic cunts met up after!
I haven’t had that much fun in awhile, it was really cool to hangout with people from work too, I rarely ever do that. People always ask why, and I guess I like to keep my personal life separate from my work life. I...
Random...
I played WoW all day today, and for some reason I’m just really tired. Tired of doing absolutely nothing. Who knew a computer game could consume so much energy…
However, it was nice to finally have a day off! Payday is tomorrow, I’m pretty sure it wont be a great check because I had a few more extra days off than I usually have.. I’m not really looking to get much, maybe...
1 tag
We Own The Sky.
I went and visited Andy the other day at his work, I went in a little bit buzzed because I was a little bit tired, and wanted to be more social. He didn’t notice. ;D
I’ve been so stressed out from work, it’s the first time in along time where I worked six full days in a row. I have tomorrow off finally, but I go back on Tuesday for another hectic week! I hate inventory. I need...
iminlikewithAndy.
Andy - ARE YOU READING THIS?!
I’m only saying that because I found it funny that yesterday when I blogged about how a simple “good morning” would really make my day, he did it today. I thought it was cute, and it really caught me off guard. I wasn’t expecting it.
I think I need to stop being so paranoid, and just let things happen how they are. I’ve been patient my...
I Dunno.
I went out to Lucky Strike last night with Valerie because a new club was taking over on Tuesday nights, Spin Tuesdays. It was a lot of fun, it was the grand opening, and their was no cover charge. The set up was really nice, even with all the people their it didn’t feel like it was too cluttered.
I was talking to Andy the entire time through text messaging last night, he was trying to make...
I was really nervous before Andy came and picked me up today. I even found myself telling Alyssa that I was “so nervous that I could faint”.
Everything went surprisingly really good. I was a lot more social than I usually am when I am around new people, which was nice. I really like him.
He paid for my lunch, held the door for me, and wanted to do anything that I wanted to do. It was...
You Make Me Nervous
hella hella nervous!
So I’m sitting here waiting for Andy to come and pick me up so we can go out to lunch at BJ’s.
Why am I so nervous? We’re suppose to just be ‘hanging out’ but still, I’m so nervous! I hate having anxiety!
Sweet Surprise
I could get used too.
I’m starting to feel a lot happier lately. Real happiness. I’ve been so down in the dumps ever since Kevin passed away, I never thought I would be able to recover. But still, do this day I think about him all the time. I’m finally coming to terms with myself, and just realizing that I should be thankful for him being in my life, and that God put him in my...
Season of Illusion
So last night was a blast. ♥
Myself, Chris and his friend Carrie went to the Abbey in West Hollywood. It was the second time that I went, and I had a blast. Before we ended up at the Abbey, we went to some dive bar that was right around the corner, and it was a lot of fun as well.
I met someone named Patrick last night. Absolutely stunning. I don’t know how I could really describe him. He...