Recap.

I have a lot to talk about, so I’m going to try and remember everything that needs to be said.

We had our state of the company meeting today at work, it was really scary and kind of inspiring at the same time. It’s great to know that I work for a quality company that truly does have their employees best interests. Even with the horrible economy right now, we are still financially able to open new stores around the country. Another great thing is that they’ve put away enough money for times like these, that were financially sound, so unless Q1 is really bad, we don’t really have to worry about anything, maybe just a few cuts here and there, but nothing to major, which makes me feel great. That was the scary part. The inspiring part was our guest speaker who is a GM for the fashion accessories department. She started out as a sales lady, and even admitted to not having the greatest confidence. I look at her, and can see myself where she is in the future. I know I don’t have the greatest confidence, but I am slowly getting better each and everyday. It’s only a matter of time before I become on top, and make a career with this company, and it’s something that I know I would love doing. I love all of the people there, and the atmosphere is just so homely, I love it. After today, I’ve become inspired to try new paths, and create new goals with this company in order for me to move up, and make a name for myself. I just hope I am able to keep up with this horrible economy, and do the best that I can.

Family life could be better, I just found out some really bad news with my mother, and I hope it doesn’t affect us to much, but I’m almost sure it will, but I have faith that everything will still be alright, and that a greater outcome will emerge. I just feel so bad for her, and I only want the best for her because she deserves it. I know I do not relay my emotions or feelings towards her, but I really do love my parents. I know a lot of people out there see me as a shallow heartless person, but I do have their best interest at heart as well. I know I’m just not the best person in conveying my emotions.

Valerie, Chris and his friend Ashlee went out to the Tin Lizzie tonight. I was really excited to go out because I don’t have to work tomorrow morning for once, so I decided to get a little bit dressed up for the occasion. First thing someone says to me is that I look like David Archuleta, and it was the second time someone has said that about me. I guess it’s a compliment since he’s adorable. ;D! I just let it be though, I didn’t make to much of it other than a simple “thank you.” What really bothered me is how we only stayed for less than an hour.

I got really, and missed LOST for that? I’m pretty sure I made my emotions clear tonight. I’m just so sick and tired of my lame ass friends. I don’t think anyone ever really thinks about how I feel. I literally felt like I was in my car for most of the night, driving around. I need to start putting my foot down, and being more upfront with people. I mean fuck, I didn’t even get to hear a song that I paid a dollar for, yes it’s only a dollar but still.

I’m going on a “date” Saturday night with Christian. As always, I’m nervous as hell. I’m slowly starting to get my trust back with everyone, but it’s just so hard. I always feel like I open myself up to much, only to be shot down again. Hopefully all goes well, I know my social skills have improved drastically over the past couple of months, and I am getting better at opening up with people, but I just get so anxious, and extremely nervous. I guess it’s because I know I never leave a good impression on anyone. I either come off as really boring, or a complete bitch. I guess it’s the people who don’t really care to know you that aren’t worth knowing. Thats what I always tell myself.

I am so tired, and full. I just had a can of soup, and I don’t even know why… It’s 1:30 in the morning, and I know it’s going to make me fatter than I already am. Blah.

Posted 26/02/2009